


Regret

by PrincessPhoenix



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-08
Updated: 2013-09-08
Packaged: 2017-12-26 00:02:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/959195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessPhoenix/pseuds/PrincessPhoenix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“What you know could fill a thimble,” she said. The cashier warped, outstretched hand grasping the collar of Jennifer’s jacket, yanking her forward. Jennifer stared into the eyes of Kali, the alpha’s lips baring fangs, the red eyes promising death and destruction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Regret

**Author's Note:**

> Part of the Jennifer Blake week!

“That will be one hundred dollars and ninety-five cents, please, ma’am.” The cashier held out her hand with a smile. Jennifer looked up from her phone, her eyes locking on the smile.

“What you know could fill a thimble,” she said. The cashier warped, outstretched hand grasping the collar of Jennifer’s jacket, yanking her forward. Jennifer stared into the eyes of Kali, the alpha’s lips baring fangs, the red eyes promising death and destruction.

“And what you know couldn’t save anyone.”

Jennifer stared back at the hallucination, her lips pressed together, her eyes only slightly narrowed. A moment passed, and then another, before Kali released her and vanished, replaced by a slack-jawed cashier and a confused crowd of people staring at her.

“One hundred dollars and ninety-five cents, right?” Jennifer asked, pulling out her credit card. There was a collective sigh and the supermarket returned to normal with the occasional grumble that it was so slow. Jennifer paid, collecting her bags and walking out of the supermarket. She looked to the side, catching the eye of one of her tails, and tossed her hair back. It was the blonde one with the hungry eyes and violent energy.

“I’m just getting groceries,” she said, her voice flat. “You can go back to wherever you came from. I have no ulterior motives.” She laughed and there was no joy in it. “I just need to eat. You do know what hunger is, right?”

He vanished into the crowd and Jennifer walked to her car, ignoring how many people in the crowd grinned at her with Kali’s smile, or stared at her with Kali’s eyes.

She is used to it by now.

\--------------

_“Do you remember?” Kali stood by the cliff, the sun peeking over the horizon. Julia looked up from taming a rabbit, stroking its ears, tickling its chin. “Do you remember what it was like when we had no power?”_

_Julia rolled her eyes and cradled the rabbit in her arms. “We still don’t have power,” she reminded Kali. “You’re a beta with pretty gold eyes and I’m…” Julia looked away. “I’ll be killed if your alpha learns what we’re doing.”_

_“Of course,” Kali said, looking behind her. Julia walked forward, the rabbit starting to kick against her chest. Julia laid it on the circle they cut out of grass and ground and pinned it. “You’d be dead in less than a second. Your throat would be slashed—“_

_“I get it, Kali,” Julia said with a laugh. She reached out her hand and waggled her fingers. “Do you have the knife or not, Kali?”_

_“Here,” Kali pressed it into her hand. “Who are you sacrificing this too?”_

_“Andarta,” Julia said. “The legends say that Andarta wanted her enemies to kill rabbits because it would make them cowardly. So, now, I’m going to sacrifice a hare to Andarta so she can make your alpha a coward.”_

_“He already is one,” Kali snorted. Julia glared before drawing the knife along the rabbit’s neck. Blood oozed from the wound, staining Julia’s hands, and she pulled them back in disgust. “What do we do with the rabbit now?” Kali asked._

_“We leave it, Kali,” Julia said. She stood and looked over at Kali. “Are you sure this will work?” she asked. “Are you okay with killing your alpha? With becoming an alpha yourself?”_

_“There’s nothing I want more,” Kali said, looking back out at the cliff. Julia knelt and wiped her blade and hands off on the grass. “You’ll be my emissary, and together we’ll build a pack to be feared and respected.” Kali turned, her eyes glowing gold. “You won’t have to live in fear anymore, Julia, and we can finally be together.”_

_Julia smiled, looking down at the red grass. “I’d like that,” Julia said. She stood and wrapped her arms around Kali’s neck, fingers tangling into Kali’s hair as Julia pulled her down for a kiss. Kali returned it, hands resting on Julia’s hips._

_Julia was fourteen._

\--------------

Jennifer folded her arms and leaned back in her chair. “So this is why you brought me back? To ask me how to handle a spirit?” She laughed. “Don’t you have other druids for that? What about Morrell and Deaton?”

“They both figured that you would have more experience,” Derek said. Jennifer glared at him before making a small sound of disgust.

“So you dragged me back from death?” Jennifer said, leaning forward and resting her chin on her hands. “How interesting, that you need me.” Her breath sucked in through clenched teeth and she bit her lip. “Kali?” she asked.

“Dead,” Derek said, voice flat. “We burned her body so that no one would question it.”

“You checked her pulse?” Jennifer whispered.

“Yes,” Derek said. “We made sure she was dead from the glass embedded in her skull before we burned her.”

Jennifer curled her lip and stood, the chair wobbling. “I don’t have to be here,” she spat. “You should have left me dead, Derek.” She turned on her heel. As she stalked towards the door she paused. “If you want to get rid of a spirit,” she said, “you need to modify the energy that allows them to exist.”

“How would we do that?” Derek asked.

“By going to the source of the problem that keeps the spirit chained to this world and eliminating it,” Jennifer replied. “Have you never seen an episode of the Ghost Whisperer, Derek?” Jennifer shook her head and she left the loft.

It was only when she was home, in her own apartment that she slumped against the wall. Something wet hit the ground and Jennifer frowned at it, brushing her fingers under her eyes. Moisture clung to her fingers and she watched as it dripped down her fingers onto the floor.

“Why?” Her voice disturbed the silence around her. “She’s dead.” The silence listens to her and the words pour out of her now. “She’s dead and I killed her, and I’m supposed to be okay with it.” Laughter tears out of her, dark and lacking in any mirth. “She killed everyone I loved, and she almost killed me. She destroyed everything that we worked so hard to build, and…” Jennifer’s words trailed to a halt. There was a beat and she remembered how Kali used to trail fingers through her hair, how Kali used to hold her tight, how they kissed in the rain and the moonlight when Kali roared her anger and her need to be free to the world. How Kali used to grin and crouch when challenged, fangs and teeth bared to the world. Jennifer laughed again, choking on it midway.

The moisture dropped to the floor again as she slid to the floor, cradling her head in her hands and wailing.

\--------------

_“Kali!” Julia ran into the room, feet catching on the corpse of the alpha and the ground rising to meet her. Hands caught and straightened Julia and she looked into Kali’s eyes and blood-spattered face. “Kali,” she whispered. “You—“_

_“He was going to kill you,” Kali said. “He was going to kill you because someone found our sacrifice to Andarta, someone put two and two together, someone followed us and watched you sacrifice the vulture to Ares and I had to do something, Julia.”_

_“It was too soon,” Julia protested, tearing herself away from Kali’s arms. “It was too soon! I can’t do anything!” She wrapped her arms around herself. “I’m not good enough a druid to do anything, and you’re so young—“_

_“I’m eighteen,” Kali said. “And you’re an amazing druid. We can do this.” The new alpha crossed to Julia, twirling. “We have the entire world in our palms now, Julia! We’re strong. We can build a pack, we can lead anything.” Kali dropped to her knees, jeans stained with blood as she grasped Julia’s hands. “Julia, you’re amazing, and we can do this. I promise that we’ll be okay, just. Trust me.”_

_Julia looked down at the corpse still bleeding, the puddle of blood that stained Kali’s jeans a deep purple, the blood on Kali’s hands. Their hands, now. “Kali,” she said, shaking her head, “I…”_

_“Please, Julia,” Kali urged. “I need you.”_

_Julia ducked her head and took a deep breath before squeezing Kali’s hands. “Okay.”_

_Julia was sixteen._

\--------------

Jennifer pressed her lips into a thin, hard line. “What do you want?” she asked, turning her head to look behind her. Scott McCall had his hands jammed into his pockets, staring at her. “Mr. ‘I don’t care if it changes the color of my eyes’.”

“You were threatening—“ Scott stopped and shook his head. Jennifer rolled her eyes and looked back towards her book, turning another page. “Look, we need your help, alright? Ethan told us that Kali used to talk about how you were well studied in ritual sacrifice.”

“Your druids should be too,” Jennifer responded. “Unless they learned nothing about anything.”

“Not like you,” Scott pressed. Derek walked through the doorway and Jennifer’s scowl deepened. She snapped her book close and turned her chair around.

“What is it with you lately?” she asked Derek. “You keep coming to be about the supernatural with questions that any druid could answer.” Her eyes flicked to Scott when he looked away and her jaw fell open. “You’re trying to make me your emissary!” she shouted at Derek. “You’re not even an alpha anymore and you’re trying to make me your emissary?”

Derek winced. “Jennifer—“

“No.” Jennifer threw the book at him, a smile that bared her teeth breaking out when it caught him in the nose. “Get out,” she said. Derek settled himself and planted his feet and she snarled. “Get out!” she screamed. “Get out, get out, get out!”

Scott withdrew first with a look at Derek and a quirk of his lips at her. Derek looked at her, folding his arms. He was like a tree, rooted and firm and Jennifer hated every inch of him.

“Jennifer,” he said and his voice was soft and sorry and Jennifer pressed her hand against her mouth.

“Leave,” she said through her fingers. “I’ll never be an emissary again.” Her voice cracked. “I’ve done too much.” Derek turned to leave and Jennifer let out a half-sob. “Derek.”

He paused.

Jennifer closed her eyes and inhaled, her heart clenching at her next words. “What is your problem?”

\--------------

_She slashed and slashed and Julia screamed for her to stop but there was no end. Bodies piled on the floor and Julia scrambled, lips cracked and praying to an ancient god, to all of them, for healing and for freedom, her hands shaking and useless._

_Kali’s hand was on her neck and tugging her back, claws raking at her face. Julia screamed and screamed and Kali continued to slash, Julia’s blood coating the both of them. Julia fell to the ground, trying to breath, to live. Kali crouched down, pushing Julia’s hair away from her face._

_Kali straightened after a pause and walked away while Julia held her breath and tried her hardest not to scream after her._

_Tried her hardest not to scream why._

_And succeeded._

_She was twenty._

\--------------

Jennifer was unable to say if it was good that she came back. But having the memory of killing Kali, watching Kali die in front of her, bleeding and slashed?

That was worth every minute of hellish life she had to endure as Derek’s sort of emissary. Maybe it was punishment. Maybe she deserved it for the people she killed.

But Jennifer had avenged Julia and the pack that she and Kali had worked so hard to create, and that was enough to get her through the darkest times.


End file.
